Here is the situation: Lily is 3 mos old, almost 3.5 mos. She is a great sleeper for her naps and does great at night also (11-12 hours!). I semi-sleep trained her to stay asleep once I put her in her bed, and then I semi-trained her again to put herself to sleep when I put her in her bed drowsy. She does great with her naps, it is very rare that I need to go into her room to soothe her during nap time.
Bed time is another story. For some reason, Lily doesn't like going to bed! Once she is asleep, she does great, but getting her to stay asleep is difficult. I usually nurse her to sleep (only for bed time), then put her into bed. Five-ten minutes later, she is crying. I then try to soothe her back to sleep, but end up nursing her again, then she is fine.
You may say: have you tried...? Or what about....? Yes, friends, I've tried it.
I've tried:
*Not nursing her to sleep. I nurse her 30 min before I put her in bed. She still woke up.
*Early bed time/Later bed time...doesn't seem to matter, she still wakes up.
*Prayer-I pray over her while I am nursing her, she still wakes up!
*Letting her cry. I actually let her cry for 30 minutes tonight, then went in and ended up nursing her.
*I thought she wasn't eating enough because she was falling asleep, so one night I kept waking her up to finish nursing, but that didn't work either!!
Should I even be stressing about this? Is it even that big of a deal? Is she still too young and I should just stop worrying about it? I just get frustrated because this wasn't a problem with Bobby, and I know she can do it. She does it just fine during the day. I know I shouldn't really complain. She sleeps through the night and sometimes sleeps until 9-9:30. It could be so much worse!
I just thought I would ask if y'all had any tips for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
8 comments:
I have no advice. Benjamin never slept well. He is still a no good sleeper. But I will say this, and you've heard it a thousand times (and please remind me in June)...don't compare your babies because they are all different.
So, here is my suggestion: Let her work it out. She's just out of her "4th trimester" and figuring the world out. Give it another month and see how it goes. In the meantime, pray and seek the Lord for rest and comfort and joy. I'll be praying with/for you.
Also...you have a really cute baby girl :)
http://kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/sleep/sleep13m.html
http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-basics-3-to-6-months_7656.bc?page=2
I've included a couple of links that you may have already read. Personally, I think she might be too young to freak out just yet. When my Lily was that young, I tried not to nurse her to sleep but didn't worry too much if she dozed off while feeding. I did allow her to develop the 'bad' habit of using a pacifier. If you're not opposed to that, you could try what I tried to keep Lily asleep once you lay her down. I did it a few different ways: I nursed, then swaddled and gave her a paci, and laid her down. Other times, she'd nurse to sleep and I'd slip the paci in her mouth before swaddling her and laying her down. Still other times, I swaddled her first, nursed her to sleep, and slipped the paci into her mouth. I found that swaddling her kept her from startling awake, and the paci provided the comfort she was seeking from me. Every baby is different, but this worked for my Lily. Hang in there, mama! This, too, shall pass!
Just maybe... Emma went through a phase real young when she just needed to be burped again. I would go in, pick her up to burp and she was a happy camper and would lay in her bed and go right back to sleep. Could be it? I will keep thinking, but agreed with others, don't worry too much. I never nursed to sleep just because I did not want her to get to needing that. And it might take her 30-40 min for a week or so to figure it out, then it will get less if you decide to let her cry it out. I too will be praying for wisdom on your part and just sleepy nights for her.
Ok girlie I know your going to get tons of different advice so here is my two cents. Bottom line: ALL kiddos are different!! As you are figuring out, there is no one size fits all, so just relax and stop stressing! Enjoy your little munchkin.
I think I gave you the book I used with all 4 of mine called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. If you haven't looked at it, go back and take a peek. There are some really great tips that don't lean too hard in either direction.
What I have found from the many books I have read and now with all 4 of mine is that in the first 3-4 months you really have to just go with the flow (**especially if you are nursing as you don't really know how much she is getting). Afterwards, you can start really training. If she gets it before then, great! (yea for you!) If not, so what...let her get there and don't feel the pressure to "make it happen."
In the book I referenced it explains what is happening biologically and chemically in their brains which is so helpful to know why some kids are easy like Bobby and why others take a little more time to get there.
One thing I am learning is that when I'm tired, frustrated and at the end of my rope, I need to pray about what God desires to teach me through the situation...at that very moment. This really shifts my focus. I am discovering that it is in these desperate moments that God really speaks and shows me areas where my heart and/or my thinking needs a "God-shift." :)
Enjoy your little girl! She loves you mommy and you are doing great!
One more thing Mo: I nursed all 4 of my kiddos to sleep and started sleep training at the end of 3/4 months. I am convinced there is NO way you can develop a bad habit this early in there life as a result from nursing to sleep. ALL of my kids are great sleepers!! Nurse her as much as she wants. Don't forget, if you plan on nursing for at least a year it will do wonders for your milk!
Thanks everyone! Yes, I agree that I should probably just stop stressing about it. I personally think she just wants some extra love'n from her mama!
I nursed B to sleep at night also, and eventually he didn't need that.
Keren- She doesn't really take a paci very well, they gag her. Thanks for the tips!
Jen, not sure about the burping, I'll burp her longer and see what happens! It is hard to let her cry, because we live with our in-laws right now. Plus, it is harder for me to listen to her cry than with Bobby. I've become a softie!
Mel-yes, that is a great book, I'll go back and look at it, thanks!
Ashley- sorry, forgot to include you!
Thanks for your thoughts, you are right, they are 2 diff. kiddos and I shouldn't compare.
I also think part of the problem is me. At the end of the day, I'm tired! I just want to put them in bed and be done! So selfishly, I want her to be out of this phase. But I should be so grateful, she is sleeping through the night! So many babies aren't at this age...
I think you are so brave to ask for advice... And everyone's tips seem really thought out, and experienced-based. Sleep is such a complex thing; my only advice is to remember that it's actually a form of torture to deprive someone of it. So it's completely normal for you to feel crazy about the subject. I know I only made it one day at a time. Hang in there; you are such a great momma! Don't forget to ask Rob to pray with you. Never know. I prayed for mine for several months, and it was pretty miserable, but we did live over it. I usually want to find the reason for these things, now I think maybe the reasons are hard to discern. Be as kind to yourself and your family as you can manage, and pray for Him to fill in the gaps. Wish I could give you a squeeze right this minute!
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